The Scribblings of Saint Fnordius

Random utterances and musings from the now-defunct Hermetic Order of Knights under Munich.

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Location: Bayreuth, Bavaria, Germany

A writer in his spare time who sometimes does pencil sketches, a web designer and hobby philosopher who can be a gentle and funny friend or a nasty and bitter curmudgeon depending on the weather and who you ask.

16 September 2005

A Story from the Holy Book of Waffles

One day, as Saint Fnordius was enjoying his waffles with maple syrup, one of the brothers came to him with a troubled look. "I am sorry to intrude, Master," the acolyte said, "but just how did Lady Threesomes come to be known as Our Lady of Maple Flavoured Naughtiness?"

"Sit, my son," the good saint replied, "and you shall hear the tale. I suppose you are old enough." He then cleared away his breakfast utensils whilst the young monk waited. After many hours of washing, reading the news, and otherwise goofing off until that evening, the good saint remembered the poor youth waiting for him and eventually returned.

"The story is this," the Saint said finally, waking the monk. "I have always harbored a longing for maple syrup, but when our homeland was transformed into the Land of Thud I had no more access to that ambrosia. Lady Threesomes offered her services, and now smuggles the sweet nectar past the Sergeant at Arms and the Deacon of Smackdown for me."

"I don’t understand," the monk asked. "How does she get them past those two brothers?" The saint stood up, sighed, and took his rack of syrup phials from the shelf.

"Look closely, kid. Did you never wonder why my syrup bottles are made to be so long and hard, or why they are round on the bottom? Have you not seen this curving form before?"

Upon seeing this, the brother was enlightened.

09 September 2005

Quote of the Week

"Now, for you people who are saying, 'Well, stop pointing fingers at the president ... left-wing ... the media's being too hard.' No. Shut up. No. This is inarguably -- inarguably -- a failure of leadership from the top of the federal government.

"Remember when Bill Clinton went out with Monica Lewinsky? That was inarguably a failure of judgment at the top. Democrats had to come out and risk losing credibility if they did not condemn Bill Clinton for his behavior. I believe Republicans are in the same position right now. And I will say this: Hurricane Katrina is George Bush's Monica Lewinsky. The only difference is this: Tens of thousands of people weren't stranded in Monica Lewinsky's vagina."

Jon Stewart

Thanks to the Daily Kos

She said...

She said, "Do you remember that one time we ate oysters?"

He said, "Yes, It wasn't all I ate that night."

She said,
"You ordered everything off the menu. And then some."

He said,
"Some appetites just cant be sated."

She said,
"You're disgusting, but I love you."

He said,
"I never cared for love. But I lust after you."

She said,
"You're breaking my heart. Go take the trash out."