Your Global Domination status report

The Gnomes of Zurich have suffered a setback, as their attempts to eliminate the competition with the subprime crisis have backfired.

The Network continues to grow, as they entice more and more to go online and surrender all privacy.

Shangri-La managed to protect their secret base, despite an attack from the Sons of Cthulhu with earthquake machines.

The Society of Assasins is withdrawing and regrouping, as their violent tactics are no longer working.

The Discordians are oddly quiet. What are they planning this round? Could it be that they now control the Democrats in the USA?

And of course, the Bavarian Illuminati are dominating the game, and now have puppets in the Russian, the Chinese and the Italian governments. But keep an eye on Gambia, as they may make a move there whilst Zimbabwe distracts everybody.

(Note: this is all parody. Don't blame me if men in black show up at your door some night. Fnord.)

Life imitates art

The internet is all abuzz about how Microsoft is now claiming that Free Software infringes upon 235 patents held by Microsoft. One little interesting detail, though, is how they won't way which patents are being infringed, lest the free software developers and FS-friendly lawyers make them irrelevant.

I just can't get past the way this resembles a Monty Python sketch. I can see it now...

JOHN CLEESE: "You've trespassed upon my property!"

GRAHAM CHAPMAN: "I did not."

CLEESE: "You did! You did! You owe me a toll!"

CHAPMAN: "I wasn't aware that I did. Where did I step on your property?"

CLEESE: "...I won't tell you."

CHAPMAN: "What? Why not?"

CLEESE: "If I told you, then you'd find a route that doesn't cross my property. That would ruin my chances of collecting a toll in the future, now, wouldn't it?"

CHAPMAN: "You are a very silly man and I have no intention of paying."

CLEESE: "THERE! You did it again! Now pay up!"

CHAPMAN: "No. Go away."

She says exactly what I've been thinking...

This is from an interesting article about Second Life, one that sums up my reservations about BDSM and the community of practicioners...

I personally have some reservations about the fascist hierarchy in BDSM, although I'm not saying it's bad, atleast until I learn more. Which I will do; that's my job, after all. But so far, I've talked to several people who are involved in the lifestyle, and it's left me with some concerns.

I'm concerned that the "training" involves more indoctrination than education. I've chatted, asked questions, and, most worrying to me, I've heard almost the same words from several enthusiasts. Some people have a "need" to submit to a more aggressive person. Some have a "need" to dominate and manipulate others. It's a "loving relationship" based on "trust", and so on.

When everyone I ask says the same thing, using practically the same language, my "groupthink detector" starts ringing. There definately does seem to be a basic doctrine to this. That might be OK, but I'm concerned that the doctrine is really an elaborate excuse for sexual bullying: a veneer, craftily painted and worked, concealing a true core of sexual exploitation and opportunism.

- Destiny Wells (read
the original Register article here)

I couldn't have said it better myself. Er. Well, perhaps I could, but I'm too lazy. Destiny writes too many SMS acronyms like "u" and "lol" for my tastes.

It just has to be said.

George W. Bush is a dishonest, callous coward. I wish I could elaborate, but his mendacity has left me speechless for now.
I will write more once I have reagained self-control.

A fable from the Saint's own hand (and experience)

Whether it contains a grain of truth or not is for you to decide. I am sending this to you because I have been told you have an open mind.


…


I was relaxing, sipping an espresso in a busy café in Vienna when I saw an angel. This in itself didn’t bother me, as angels often appear to me but only on the edge of my vision, giggling and avoiding me. But this one was different, as she sat next to me n the sofa.

Now, I don’t take any illicit drugs, so I doubt that I was hallucinating. Besides, she smelled of wild lavender and seemed to glow from within. She leaned in close and whispered in my ear:

“God is pissed.”

Doesn’t sound like a typical thing for an angel to say, does it? I looked at her, and she looked back with a smile on her face, but her eyes were deadly serious.

I cleared my throat. “That’s pretty heavy thing to say. What did I do to piss God off?”

“You personally? Nothing. That’s why I’m telling you this. It’s those who claim to do My work that irk Me.”

She paused as I realised just who the angel was. Deep in my soul, I knew I knew Him. Her. Whatever.

“You understand. Good. Now know this. What irks Me the most is that everybody believes these blowhards that once said that they talked to Me when all they wanted was to spread their own message.

“This is my only Message to Creation. Nobody is appointed by My will. I’m not your nanny, and I won’t step in to end the Universe. No Rapture, no Final Battle. Believe in yourself, and stop asking Me or My sons Jesus and Buddha to intercede. We’re not interested.”

“Er,” I said, “you mean ‘you’ as in ‘you humans’, not me personally. I’m an agnostic. I’m not even sure You exist, or are just a figment of my imagination.”

The angel laughed, a tinkling, bell-like laugh (an overused cliché, I know, but I swear I did hear tiny silver bells and a faraway church bell in her laugh). “Cheeky. But I like that. You’re smart enough to learn and follow the laws of nature, and not expect Me to cheat in the game of life for you. And because I like you, I’m going to reveal another secret to you.” She leaned in close, and her auburn locks brushed my shoulder. “There was only one Miracle with a capital M, and that was the Big Bang. It was arranged by twenty-three angels, who divided themselves into five equal groups of five. I was all twenty-three. And so were you.”

With that, she was no longer there. No rustle, no Hollywood effects, she simply left. If I hadn’t written it down as soon as she left, I might discount it as a daydream now.

But I can still feel the spot where she kissed me after telling me her riddle.